Figuring out how to deal with wedding planning stress when you have a wedding to plan can be overwhelming. Planning a wedding can be stressful at times, but it really doesn’t have to be. Other people’s opinions is one of the thing many brides and grooms struggle with. So we’ve teamed up with Bridal Coach Georgina Lucy for some top tips on how to deal with wedding stress effectively. Here’s what Georgina Lucy had to say about managing others opinions on your wedding:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when it comes to weddings everyone has an opinion. This can be great when you’re looking for new ideas and perspectives but can also get quite overwhelming.
So often I hear from brides who are stuck in patterns of people-pleasing those around them rather than making the wedding related decisions that are right for them. This often leads to bucket loads of drama and way too much stress.
Stay true to your vision
I always recommend to brides that, as early on in their engagement as possible, they get really, really clear on their wedding vision. By this I don’t just mean colour schemes and flower arrangements I mean getting clear on what aspects of your day are most important to you.
I’ll give an example of my own wedding. For me, my priority was always to create a day that was a day of fun for all involved. This meant getting clear on the kind of vibe I wanted the day to have – fun, relaxed and laid back were all words I kept in mind throughout the planning and decision-making process.
I had suggestions from family members about things we could incorporate into the ceremony and sometimes these suggestions would not match up to my vision. So I’d politely let the person know that I’d rather do something else instead.
It can be really helpful to make yourself a vision board where you can put up all your inspiration and start to get a really clear idea of what the day looks like. This way, you have something physical to refer to when you question if a particular opinion, or a decision, matches up to your vision. One way to do this is to use Pinterest Bride’s Guide to Pinterest.
YOU need to set the boundaries
When you have opinions flying at you from all angles remember it’s youwho sets the boundaries. You are responsible for the energy you allow into your life.
It’s important when it comes to weddings that you have a few trusted allies. For me it was my mum and sister. They got to hear the ins and outs of every decision and were totally on board with my vision. I trusted that they had my best interests at heart. If I’d widened that circle and asked opinions from everyone in my life then it would have quickly become overwhelming. Know whose opinions really matter to you and whose opinions to take with a pinch of salt.
If you have a friend or family member who has very different views to you then steer the conversation away from wedding chat.
Learn how to respond to opinion-givers
There are many topics that get people talking. Let’s say you’ve decided it’s going to be a child-free wedding. You can bet your bottom dollar people will have divided opinions on this. Some of the opinions you may never hear about but there will always be the vocal friends or family member who do feel comfortable airing their views.
It can feel like a massive slap in the face when someone disagrees with you especially when it’s about something you’ve given a lot of consideration to and a decision that is right for you.
Listen to what the person has to say and genuinely thank them for speaking to you (it’s better this way than behind your back, right?) If this person is invited to your wedding the chances are it’s going to be someone who is important to you in some way so preserving this relationship and keeping them happy needs to be a priority; BUT not at the expense of your own happiness. Allow yourself to really get into that person’s shoes. Try reallyhard to see it from their point of view. This way when you say to them that you can understand where they’re coming from and you will sound like you mean it!
Next, you need to decide what you want the outcome to be. Maybe there’s a compromise you could come to or maybe you are dead set on your decision. Both options are totally fine and the important part is how you deliver this message. Give your opinion (which counts for a lot remember since it’s yourwedding) but don’t go into unnecessary detail as it just opens up the opportunity for more debate. Keep it clear and concise and remain compassionate.
Dial Down the Drama
What is it with weddings and drama? It can often feel like they go hand in hand.
Notice how you’re speaking about your wedding. Take note when you are catastrophizing and making something a bigger deal than it really is. Keep things in perspective and don’t give momentum to drama.
Maybe you could have some little strategies to divert away from the drama. Perhaps you use humour or a distraction technique. Anything to stop drama in its tracks.
Ask yourself if it’s really worth giving you extra stress and above all remember why there is a wedding in the first place. This is a celebration of the love between you and your partner. Focus on that and the gratitude you have for your relationship rather than focusing on the negative energy that could be brewing.
When conflict strikes…
How you respond to things is totally within your control but it’s a fact of life that we can’t control others. We can do certain things like setting boundaries like I’ve already mentioned but sometimes we need to have some tools in our back pockets to deal with conflict if and when it strikes.
Something I like to keep in mind when conflict occurs is ‘would I rather be right or happy?’ It’s about knowing when to let go. Agreeing to disagree. This can be really tough when we’re passionate about something but even if you did turn someone round to your way of thinking, what have you really gained?
We chase the satisfaction of ‘being right’ but what’s right to you may not be right for someone else. We all view the world from our own view points and seeing things from other people’s point of view whilst staying true to our own opinions is an amazing skill to have. Why not put this into practice whilst planning your wedding as there’s no doubt you’ll need to use it at other times throughout your life.
If it’s not other peoples opinions, but conflict between your nearest and dearest that is keeping you up at night, check out my blog post on conflict on how to deal with this.
So, to wrap it up, keep in mind that this is your wedding and your happiness we are talking about here. Nothing is worth sacrificing your happiness, especially at such a special time of your life which should be filled with fun and excitement. Steer clear of the drama and if you need to confront it then stay true to yourself, hold on to your integrity and know that the only thing you can control is how youdeal with the situation. You’ve got this!
If you would like some 1-2-1 dedicated support and coaching as you go through your wedding planning process then get in touch via my website. For a limited time, I’m offering a FREE 40 minute bridal coaching session. You can also follow me for nuggets of inspiration on Facebook and Instagramwhere I’m @georginalucycoach.
Photo credit: Ashley Paton Photography
About Georgina Lucy
Georgina Lucy offers one-on-one and group coaching for brides-to-be, encouraging the wedding planning process to be less about stress, nerves and people pleasing, and more about empowering brides to arrive at decisions that feel right for them.
Planning a wedding can put a magnifying glass over everyday life, bringing niggles and challenges to the surface. Georgina Lucy encourages brides to keep sight of the bigger picture and focus on what really matters.
How often have you heard a bride say her day has gone by in a blur? Georgina Lucy teaches brides mindfulness and stress busting techniques to ensure they really soak up every single second, remaining calm and happy throughout the most magical day of their lives.
Georgina Lucy also offers personalised life coaching to men and women in their 20s and 30s helping them to navigate their way through key decisions and take control of their lives.
Youtube: Georgina Lucy
We’d love to hear from you, what causes you the most wedding planning stress? What top tips do you have about managing wedding stress and the opinions of others? Comment below and let us know
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