Avoid wedding planning stress with our guide on How to say no without turning into Bridezilla
When it comes to weddings, there are always a lot of opinions flying around. Whether it’s the flavour of your cake, number of guests to invite or something bigger, like just how religious your ceremony should be, disagreements are bound to pop up. Here’s how not to offend those closest to you when bad ideas are shared and you have nowhere to run.
YOUR HUSBAND TO BE
While some men typically tend to take a step back when it comes to wedding planning and let their enthusiastic fiancés take the reins, others are just as keen to give their two pennies worth as any bride. For most, having a husband to be who is happy to be involved in planning the big day is great…. until it’s not. When the love of your life turns to you and earnestly suggests you walking down the aisle to the theme tune from Star Trek, it can take all there is in you not to snatch back those reins and never let go.
But turning into a bridezilla is easier than you realise with only an ounce of wedding planning stress. Taking executive decisions to shut down his ideas on the spot can leave him not wanting to contribute at all. Instead of a simple ‘hell no’, try sharing your own ideas and show him some examples of how they could look. You could also give him some realistic reasons why a Halloween-style wedding might not be the best idea for your big day. For example, it may just give your great-aunt a heart attack.
What to remember: While it’s easy to get caught up in wanting the perfect wedding, remember that it is his day as well as yours. At the end of the day you want a wedding that celebrates both of you coming together. If he really wants a Batman themed wedding cake… a little compromise never killed anyone.
Image courtesy of Pinterest
YOUR PERSISTENT MOTHER/MOTHER IN-LAW
Speaking from experience, sometimes the most difficult people to please in wedding planning can be your mother and mother-in law. They are a key source of wedding planning stress. Their opinions are important, and if they are helping you pay for the occasion, they may feel as though they are entitled to have a say in how the big day goes. You want to get married on a vineyard, but she insists on a traditional church ceremony. You want a small wedding with just your closest family and friends, but in her opinion you simply MUST invite cousin Elliot who you haven’t seen since you were three.
Some great advice that I once got was to set your boundaries early on in your wedding planning. When people have boundaries, they know where their domain lies and less toes are likely to be trodden on. Give your mother and mother-in law specific tasks to be in charge of. This will help to take up their time and let them know what they do and do not have a say in.
For other more important things, let them know that you are taking their suggestions into consideration. After that, if your decision is different from what they had dreamed, simply tell them (very sweetly) that while her suggestion of wearing her ball gown wedding dress from the 80s sounds lovely, you really REALLY have your heart set on a modern A-line number. No caring mother or future mother-in law could get mad over that!
What to remember: For many brides, things can get heated when they clash with their mother-in law to be. Just remember that on your wedding day, you are not just marrying your husband, but his entire family. Next time she oversteps her mark and you’re tempted to unleash the fury on her, think long-term. All those awkward family lunches to come just aren’t worth five minutes of honesty!
Image courtesy of Pinterest
YOUR WELL-MEANING BRIDESMAIDS
Weddings are such an exciting time in you and your partner’s lives, as well as the lives of those closest to you. Close friends can get so excited in fact that they want to help you along every step of the way. Whether your bridal party consists of a tight-knit bunch, or a mix of friends and family from different parts of your life, there are bound to be some strong opinions flying around. It is important to listen to your bridal party, but they also need to know that your word is final.
As your closest friends and confidants they are much more likely to understand when you tell them that thigh-length hot pink dress they had their eye on isn’t going to cut it. Be honest, but keep things light. Bridesmaids often take the brunt of a bridezilla’s frustration, so let them know that you value their opinions and that you appreciate their support.
What to remember: You have enough to stress about when planning a wedding without having to worry about your bridesmaid’s opinions and emotions. They are there to support you and keep you sane, not the other way around. This is one group of friends who you should be able to be completely honest and open with.
Finally, remember always that your day is about you and your partner. Yes, opinions should be listened to and feelings taken into consideration, but at the end of the day what your family and friends want is for you to be happy. Their opinions are there because they care about you and want you to have the best day possible!
Have you got any tips on how to say no? Then why not share them in the comments below.
And if all else fails, Etsy has a mug for that!
Bridezilla Mug £11.09 from Etsy